I love black girls.

For those of you who don’t know me this might come as a shock to you.  You might say to yourself, “Oh dear Christ, he plays cello, does comedy, and loves black women? What would Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart say?”

He’d say, “Get emmm’ girllll!”

For those of you who do know me, you probably want to punch me in the face for constantly telling you how much I like African-American women.

I can’t exactly say why I have this attraction.  I assume it comes from growing up in the Teaneck, NJ public school system, where at least half the school population was black and Latino.  That’s the thing with growing up in a diverse environment, you are able to appreciate women from all different races and cultures.  A lot of my friends also are into black women, but their tastes are generally much broader, whereas mine seem to be much more discerning.

Anyway, enough about the origins of why I’m so fucked up.

I joined an online dating website because my life has gotten to that point at the ripe age of 21.  Yes, depressing, I know.  But at least I didn’t pay for it.  On this site, I’d be searching for women and have to go through pages and pages of matches, only a handful of whom were black girls.  They all were lily white.  OMG!

Now I don’t have anything against white girls.  I just wanted a little bit more variety in my search results.  People,  I’m trying to make a chocolate vanilla swirl, not a vanilla bean with white chocolate chips.  I’m sorry, horrible analogy, please somebody kill me.

So I thought to myself, c’mon, there has to be at least one website out there where black girls are specifically looking for decently attractive Jewish cellist comedians with penchants for dick jokes.

Well, not exactly, but I did find this  afroromance.com/

I had no idea that there were actually sites specifically meant for interracial dating.  I guess I should use the internet for things other than eBay and porn.

First off, I think this site, AfroRomance, and other similar sites, are a great idea.  They tap into a niche that needs to be addressed.  Second off, I think the name AfroRomance is hilarious.  I just get this image of a dude fucking one of those huge fake afros they sell for Halloween.

I was a little dissapointed that they didn’t name the site Afromance.  C’mon, let’s be clever here, people.

Anyway, so you enter the site and the background is rich chocolate color (cliche? nah I’ll give it to em’) and you see their slogan, “AfroRomance: Where love is more than skin deep..”  Okay, not bad, you have my attention.  Then in huge yellow letters they have their friendly disclaimer, although it kind of reads like an inverse Jim Crow sign, “Interracial Dating Only!”

They should just have a sign that says, “Fuck people from your own race…oh wait, don’t!”

Once, you log in, the site is pretty similar to all other dating websites.  I especially enjoy the “How it Works” section.  It has a bunch of different categories to click on such as “How does this site work?” and “What does this site offer me?”  These are pretty run of the mill questions that I would expect from an online dating website.  But out of nowhere, after the innocuous, “Will this site work for me?” it has the question:

“What will my friends think?”

C’mon America, grow the fizzzuccckkk up.  If you love black girls, just accept that shit and go on with your life.  If you are honestly worried about what your friends are going to say about you, what kind of fucking friends do you have?  Aren’t they supposed to accept you for who you are?

If your ‘friend gives you shit, be like, “dude, you ever been with a black girl?”

“Nah.”

“Then get off my nuts because you don’t know what you’re missing you racist cunt.”

Okay, you don’t have to be that harsh about it, but who the fuck are other people to judge you for your preferences?  It’s not like the site is called childromance.com where you pick up girls 13 and under.  People from other races and cultures are still people!

Let’s face it, women are all pink on the inside.

Ohhhhhhhhh, I had to go there didn’t I?  Kill me.

Back to the website.  Every online dating website has to have a testimonials section (“I found my fuck buddy…er.. husband on this website!”) so I clicked on Afroromance’s “Success Stories” link and wasn’t really surprised at the confessions.  But I did find a dude on the site who’s user name is “Cornbread38.”  You have to respect a man with a sense of humor and a taste for one of the best staples of African-American cookouts.  As Chris Rock says in “No Sex in the Champagne Room,” “corn bread, ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.”

And I suppose Chris is right.  I just happen to like chocolate corn bread.