Archive for October, 2010


Today is Halloween, so I decided to do a Funny Cello Lessons video honoring the only holiday where normal god fearing Catholic girls get to dress like $15 dollar a pop blow job whores, and feel good about themselves while eating Snickers bars.  I was bartending this past Friday at the CalArts Halloween party, which is a humongous homoerotic ecstasy driven love fest and I was inspired to do a video in my get up.

My outfit?

A gay Mexican.

I dressed all in clothes from my gay friend Andrew, who weighs about half of what I do.  I had on a sombrero, a multicolred woman’s jacket, and short shorts so tight and small that not only could you see the outline of my dick and balls perfectly, but I’m pretty certain I’ll never be able to procreate after wearing those for 8 hours.  (This is not necessarily a bad thing).
Anyway, enjoy the video and learn some cello! 

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African Dancing Like a Jew

Today was the second of two master classes I attended led by a Yoruban talking drum master and his wife.  In the first class, the drum master spoke for an hour about his life and how he became a drummer.  Of his lecture I understood about 4% of what he was actually saying because his accent was so thick I felt like I had peanut butter in my ears.  We were then schooled on how to play the patterns on each drum and were brought up in groups to try them out.  I was in one of the last groups to try the drums, so I had a chance to watch at least 10 groups do the same thing, and I still managed to fuck up a pattern that involved all of two hits.

This week was all about Yoruban dancing, which I was pretty excited about considering I was once received the glowing accolade, “wow, your moves are so corny!” from a girl I was dancing with in a New York City bar.  My skilled moves originate from my rigorous training as a Bar Mitzvah dance floor maven back when I was 12 and 13 years old.  If you had given me a couple of Shirley Temples back in the day, I would rock the shit out of Hava Nagila on the dance floor.

So I came prepared to dance my ass off today and that’s exactly what I did.  Within about five minutes of thrusting my hips backward, pushing my chest forward, and waving my arms in the air kind of like a chicken, I was dripping with sweat and ready to pass out.  Nevertheless, I persevered through my complete and utter lack of cardiovascular stamina and was glad I did, because I came upon my new favorite dance move.

The ‘put on your pants’ move.

The drum master’s wife explained many of the dance moves in terms of daily activities, like ‘plant the seed,’ ‘chop the tree,’ ‘beat your wife.’

Juuuusttt kidding.  This isn’t redneck line dancing, wives stay bruise free!

So my new favorite dance move, “put on your pants,” looks exactly like it sounds.  You keep your torso straight and mime putting on your fresh new pair of green Hammer pants.   I’m definitely taking “put on your pants” to the club and using it to dance with black girls.

“Hey, check this out!  Check out how cultured I am!  Please make out with me!”

I’m pretty certain this will work.

The drum master’s wife was a very cool lady and explained to us that the dance we were performing was about loving yourself.  She told us you have to love yourself no matter how much money you have, your social status, if you are Jewish, etc.

She’s obviously never been Jewish.

 

 

 

It just keeps getting better and better! Wasteland Party is taking San Jose by storm! Metro Newspaper calls us “the next big thing” and if you were at our last party, I couldn’t imagine it getting any much bigger! 500+ people covered in sweat, making out, getting down and acting crazy…it was pure sexy magic!
Don’t miss out on our next event OCT. 21st, 2010! We can’t wait!

SPECIAL GUEST DJs:

BULIMIATRON(LA)

This LA based DJ is taking the world by storm with his undeniably ground breaking remixes, in the nightclub circuit he is among todays greatest! Aka he’s gonna make you dance your way to a mental break down!!! His Face Book Activities include: DJing, Producing, Remixing, Smoking, Blazing, Drinking, Dancing, Partying…what more can a Wastelander ask for???
myspace.com/bulimiatron

MR. TYLER JACKSON

Monterey is not only internationally known for their aquatic museum but for hosting one of the most in demand, top notch DJs, Mr. Tyler Jackson!!! This guy has a musical talent that most DJs only try to emulate! Surely he will own the Wasteland dancefloor!
soundcloud.com/mr-tyler-jackson

GUEST PHOTOGRAPHER:
VLADIMIR TIKAY!

Vladimir, A San Jose Native, has always been influence by the Bay Area in all his amazing work, capturing the best moments, things and people that make up this metropolis; now it’s your turn to be forever displayed on his popular website thespacetraveler.com!!!

GUEST HOSTS:
DULCE ALEJANDRA

and SERGIO NUNEZ

If you’ve seen the movie Party Monsters, You haven’t seen shit. These two downtown kids are good at what they do, and what they do is PARTY! Dulce will dance until her heels break; and Sergio will probably be naked by the end of the night. Just how we like it! You just wait and see!

OUR RESIDENT DJs:
DJSTINKYLOVE

SHINES LIKE GOLD

AND Ft. LOCK UP YOUR SISTERS

RESIDENT PHOTOGRAPHER AND HOST:

ERIC BELLADONNA

METRO NEWSPAPER the Silicon Valley’s #1 Newspaper
WILL BE COVERING THE EVENT! DRESS UP!!!

1ST & 3RD THURSDAY OF EVERY MONTH
@ 399 S. 1ST STREET AGENDA LOUNGE
DOWNTOWN SAN JOSE CA.
FIRST AND ONLY 18+
ELECTRO DANCE PARTY
in the SOUTH BAY!

9PM UNTIL 2AM!!!

$5 before 10pm!
$10 for 18+
5 for 21+

We’re weird, crazy, straight, gay, cute, ugly, drunk, artsy,
stylish and always fun! Always!
Nobody sleeps when we’re awake!!!

PLEASE DO GET FUCKED UP IN THE PARKING LOT!!!

DRESS CODE: OVER THE TOP!!! We dig that!
Think Glam Rock and Party Monster…

VISIT FOR ALL INFORMATION:
WWW.WASTELANDPARTYSJ.COM

Help Pass this on!!!

xoxo
Wasteland Party SJ

RSVP  TO THIS EVENT ON FACEBOOK!

 

Our official invite on Facebook is up! RSVP!!!

500+ came to our last one!!! Don’t be left out! Join the Wasteland Family!

xoxo
eric

 

 

Today I was awoken by a phone call from my friend Jonathon.

“Hey Bryan, you want to get something to eat at Las Delicias (a great Mexican place nearby) and then go with me to get a dildo for my girlfriend?”

I replied, “Yes.  Yes, I would like to do that.”  Spending a Saturday afternoon shopping for colored plastic penises is simply an offer I cannot refuse.

Just for some back story Jonathon’s girlfriend lives across the country.  He visited her last weekend, but was quite disappointed after 10 minutes of fornication in which she came twice, she told him, I can’t go anymore, I’m too sore.  Now as happy as Jonathon was that his schlong was so massive and adept that his own girlfriend couldn’t take his skillful lovemaking, he was saddened by the fact that she refused sex for the next two days because she was so sore.  (Or at least that’s what she told him)

Now Jonathon asked me to go with him to get his girlfriend a dildo because he believes that by sending her a dildo (that is slightly smaller in both length and girth than his own penis), she can ‘practice’ and thus prepare herself for their next wild fornication.

So we drive to our local sex shop, Fun Zone, which I have been to on numerous occasions.  Past experiences at the Fun Zone have been to help my two lesbian friends find a good dildo for them to have sex with…Now that I think about it, people generally like to consult me before buying penis related objects.

Great.

So we walk into the shop, which houses the usual assortments of Boobie Jelly, glow in the dark condoms, pocket pussies, an array of pornographic films so large and disgusting it would make Larry Flynt feel uncomfortable, cock rings, and good old dildos.  The whole back wall is filled with silicone penis shaped objects ranging from, the mini-cock which looks like an Asian girl’s pinkie finger, all the way to the Rambo, which is about as wide and long as Mike Tyson’s thigh muscle.

There are truly some frightening dildos in there.  People should just get the Rambo, hang it from their pants, and use that as their Halloween costume.  Most women would probably be mortified, but there would be those select few that would give you a double take and the sexy bat of an eyelash.

So Jonathon and I are looking at the dildos and he finally decides on a cylindrical  6″ blue vibrator.  He could have chose the horribly offensive, Mulatto, a gigantic ebony wiener with a Caucasian tip, but he haaddd to go with something sleek and compact.  Where’s his sense of adventure?  I suppose his girlfriend could fantasize that her new blue vibrator is actually the throbbing cock of Papa Smurf.

Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Jonathon goes to buy the vibrator as I peruse the birthday card section, in which all the models on the cards look like they are from 1984.  I guess sex shops are stuck in the past.  As we are leaving I notice that Jonathon has a bit of an uncomfortable look on his face.  He confides that the man behind the counter, a gentleman in his mid 50’s, with a graying beard and who looked perfectly suited to be working at store that sold nipple clips, opened up the vibrator, put in two AA batteries, turned it on, and then placed the vibrating object onto Jonathon’s hand.

Jonathon looked at him incredulously and asked politely, “Um, what are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m just making sure it works,” the man chortled in a whispery tone.

According to Jonathon, the man maintained contact between the dildo and his hand, until Jonathon replied uncomfortably, “ummm, yeah it works, can you please stop that?”

What can you really expect when you go into a sex store to buy a dildo?  C’mon, you have to have an encounter with at least one creepy guy or it’s not a successful trip.

I sincerely hope that Jonathon’s relationship is aided with the addition of a new vibrating Smurf penis.  But I’m not one for relationship counseling.  Apparently, I’m only good for advice on dildos.

Christopher Husary is a one of the best young, up and coming Photographers in the San Jose Bay Area; Wasteland was lucky enough to have him document our night with Guest DJ Richie Panic, it was an amazing Party to say the least!

See for yourself…

 

 

SEE MORE OF CHRISTOPHER’S WORK @
facebook.com/christopher.husary
and
flickr.com/photos/cphotography2010/sets/

xoxo
eric

OCT 21ST is our next WASTELAND PARTY!!!
With BULIMIATRON!

xoxo
eric

I worked this week with my good friend, Ben Shepherd, a phenomenal bass player and  Indian kiwi-sexual to make a new funny cello lessons video.  Ben is truly a god on the bass, so I just enjoy taking my shirt off and working with him any chance I get.  The focus of this video is how to play together in a duo and the latent homosexuality that exists in any all male music group.  Enjoy!  youtube.com/watch?v=GtttLSERu9c

IN ORDER TO WIN: “@wasteland” us on Facebook with a great caption that will best describe this Thursday and the madness that will take place! Best one wins! You get in for FREE with a PLUS ONE, as a thanks for being an awesome Wastelander! We love you guys!

Make it fun! Go crazy!

CONTEST ENDS WED. NIGHT!

xoxo
Wasteland Crew