Tag Archive: culture

African Dancing Like a Jew

Today was the second of two master classes I attended led by a Yoruban talking drum master and his wife.  In the first class, the drum master spoke for an hour about his life and how he became a drummer.  Of his lecture I understood about 4% of what he was actually saying because his accent was so thick I felt like I had peanut butter in my ears.  We were then schooled on how to play the patterns on each drum and were brought up in groups to try them out.  I was in one of the last groups to try the drums, so I had a chance to watch at least 10 groups do the same thing, and I still managed to fuck up a pattern that involved all of two hits.

This week was all about Yoruban dancing, which I was pretty excited about considering I was once received the glowing accolade, “wow, your moves are so corny!” from a girl I was dancing with in a New York City bar.  My skilled moves originate from my rigorous training as a Bar Mitzvah dance floor maven back when I was 12 and 13 years old.  If you had given me a couple of Shirley Temples back in the day, I would rock the shit out of Hava Nagila on the dance floor.

So I came prepared to dance my ass off today and that’s exactly what I did.  Within about five minutes of thrusting my hips backward, pushing my chest forward, and waving my arms in the air kind of like a chicken, I was dripping with sweat and ready to pass out.  Nevertheless, I persevered through my complete and utter lack of cardiovascular stamina and was glad I did, because I came upon my new favorite dance move.

The ‘put on your pants’ move.

The drum master’s wife explained many of the dance moves in terms of daily activities, like ‘plant the seed,’ ‘chop the tree,’ ‘beat your wife.’

Juuuusttt kidding.  This isn’t redneck line dancing, wives stay bruise free!

So my new favorite dance move, “put on your pants,” looks exactly like it sounds.  You keep your torso straight and mime putting on your fresh new pair of green Hammer pants.   I’m definitely taking “put on your pants” to the club and using it to dance with black girls.

“Hey, check this out!  Check out how cultured I am!  Please make out with me!”

I’m pretty certain this will work.

The drum master’s wife was a very cool lady and explained to us that the dance we were performing was about loving yourself.  She told us you have to love yourself no matter how much money you have, your social status, if you are Jewish, etc.

She’s obviously never been Jewish.



Strangest things about Czechs

I found this question/answer discussion by accident while searching for information about Czech famous singer Lucie Bila.Question: What is the funniest, or strangest thing about Czech republic / Czech people?French actor:they drink too much beer and they drive like nut cases!!also birds all shave their pussies which is pretty good i thinkUK theater director:How they all fold their duvets in the same illogical way.How they always vote Lucie Bila their best female singer even though none of them buy her records.The way the President goes all over the world saying whatever the hell he feels like even (especially) if it doesnt reflect the feelings of the Czech people.The way that pradeda Czech discovered the Czech lands when he walked up ??p, not realising he’d walked through half of them already.The way that Pavel B?m (Prague mayor) managed to build and reconstruct everything in and around Prague by himself.They way that even very busy and important businesswomen take a special holiday to make biscuits before Christmas.UK DJ:You’d not a have enough room in your inbox if I replied to that one!French/Swiss/Italian Actor:Only country where beer costs less than water.Canadian actor:The women are stunningly beautiful, but the men are hideously ugly. God help me, but it’s the truth.UK journalist:The way they cover their books with paper on the metro.The way they say dobry den to no-one in particular in a shop. But they say it so quietly so no-one really hears.UK/French Manager:the language

You can not miss this very interesting, sexist and sometime racist discussion about love, dating and relationship in the Czech Republic. It nicely starts out with a premise that Czech Women prefer American Men and leads to European gene pool.

Read it for silly fun and don’t take it too seriously.